Go
The Machine That Goes *ping* is governed by rule 1209
The Truths of the Machine:
[1] [2] [3]
[4] [5] [6]
[7] [8] [9]
[10]
[11] [12]
[13] [14] [15]
[16]
IF AND ONLY IF today *** * **** ***** ** ***** ** ****** ********* ** ****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went ping on:
September 24, 1996.
September 28, 1996.
September 29, 1996.
I have been studying the machine closely for the last two days, and I have formulated a hypothesis as to the nature of the truth, to wit:IF AND ONLY IF today has a date which is prime or evenly divisible by four, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
To Bascule the Wise:I was afraid I'd made it too easy, but your speed and mastery of the most arcane of Eratosthenian mysteries surpasses all earthly knowledge. Indeed, in my opinion all Acka should stand before thee and bow down to thy skills, but alas, this is not provided for by the rules. Instead, for your wisdom, you shall soon the proud owner of a shiny new Gadget.
I believe Malenkai should now determine which of the following Bascule receives: Electronic Potato; Scroll of Crumble; The Really Big Blue Thing That Doesn't Do Much, Really; Whamiol (!!!); Vending Machine; EP Vending Machine Add-On; Propeller Beanie. If this list is incorrect (The Blueprint page is slightly OoD), I apologize.
Guy Fawkes
soon-to-be ex-Scholar of *ping*
IF AND ONLY IF today *** * **** **** ******** ** ** *** ****** ** *******, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went *ping* on:
October 1, 1996.
October 2, 1996.
October 8, 1996.
October 9, 1996.
October 15, 1996.
October 16, 1996.
Oh, this is a stretch. But nothing ventured, nothing gained.Bascule: it is possible that the Machine said to you: "IF AND ONLY IF today has a week name spelling of an odd number of letters, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*."?
At the risk of public ridicule, I propose that the Machine's Truth isIF AND ONLY IF today has a name that consists of an odd number of letters, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
Am I right, or am I an ignorant fool?
Aspiring Students of The Machine That Goes *ping*The diligent student Malenkai was the first to name a magic letter, d. I've been racking my brains, and yes, I think there were some ds in there somewhere...
IF AND ONLY IF today *** * **** **** ******** ** ** *dd ****** ** *******, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
Well, you students had better buck your ideas up if you want to determine the truth. My left toenail clippings could have come up with a better try than this. This guess is the sorriest apology for a try at the truth that I have _ever_ come across in all my time as Scholar of *ping*. I am ashamed to hold the title of Scholar of *ping*, since I have obviously failed to teach even the most _basic_ skills to my students, culminating in this crass insult to the Machine. I mean, we all know that breadbox is a pretty slow learner, well, to tell the truth, he's utterly hopeless, but I had thought that with a bit of patience and hard work, he might yet make a decent student. However, he obviously has not spent more than five minutes studying the Machine, and he jumps in with this feeble, half-baked effort. I am only sorry that such a pathetic attempt should be punished with a meagre A$5 fine.
To the Most Learned Guy FawkesI congratulate thee, Guy Fawkes, on your painstaking hard work in elucidating the solution to this most esoteric of alphabetical Machinistic riddles. Acka has a new Scholar of *ping* who is most worthy of the title. Long may the Machine go *ping* in Xanadu!
IF AND ONLY IF today **** *** *** ****** ***** ** ****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went ping on:
October 19, 1996.
October 20, 1996.
October 21, 1996.
October 22, 1996.
October 23, 1996.
October 24, 1996. (should have, but Guy Fawkes failed to post it in time)
October 25, 1996.
October 26, 1996.
October 27, 1996.
October 28, 1996.
October 29, 1996.
October 30, 1996.
October 31, 1996.
November 1, 1996.
November 2, 1996.
November 3, 1996.
November 4, 1996.
November 5, 1996.
November 6, 1996.
IF AND ONLY IF today *o** *o* *** ****** ***** o* ****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
IF AND ONLY IF today *o*s *o* *** ****** ***** o* ****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
If AND ONLY IF today *o*s *o* l** ****** ***** o* **l*, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
If AND ONLY IF today does not lie within march or july, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
/dev/joe, your knowldege of the calendar astounds me. Any man can know what month it is, but you alone of all Acka possess that special genius to know what month it is not. It is with great pride that I bestow upon you the title of Scholar of *ping*.
IF AND ONLY IF today ** ****** ** *** ******* *** ** ******* ****** *****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went *ping* on:
November 7, 1996.
November 11, 1996.
November 13, 1996.
November 18, 1996.
November 21, 1996.
November 25, 1996.
IF AND ONLY IF today ** ****** ** **e ******* *** *e *e***** **e*e* *****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
IF AND ONLY IF today is Monday or the gumball may be legally chewed today, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
Never has there been a wiser player than Malenkai, he who realizes three missed opportunities to chew the gumball.All hail Malenkai, the new Scholar of *ping*!
IF AND ONLY IF today ******** ******** * **** ***** ** *** ***** *** ***** *** ******, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went *ping* on:
November 29, 1996.
December 5, 1996.
December 9, 1996.
December 11, 1996.
December 13, 1996.
December 14, 1996.
December 17, 1996.
December 19, 1996.
December 20, 1996.
December 21, 1996.
December 23, 1996.
December 25, 1996.
December 27, 1996.
December 29, 1996.
IF AND ONLY IF today **r***** *r****** * **** ***** ** *** ***** **r *r*** **r ****r*, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
IF AND ONLY IF today **r***** *r****** * **** ***** ** *** ***** **r *r*m* **r ****r*, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
IF AND ONLY IF today directly precedes a date which is not cubic nor prime nor square, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
To /dev/joe the wise:I give you the Pedestal of *ping* to place you new Machine that goes *ping* on (which would traditionally accompany the Machine on its journeys through Acka). We tried to throw a curve ball in there by making it depend not on the date itself, but you were not fooled.
Your timing of the solution is interesting. Did that 'm' in 'prime' give it to you? I didn't think that would really help. I'm sure the crowd would like to hear your discovery process.
IF AND ONLY IF today *** * **** **** **** ** *** ********* ***** *******, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.The Machine went *ping* on:
/dev/joe, oh wondrous scholarAt Sat, 11 Jan 1997 22:42:21 -0600 (CST), /dev/joe ridiculed Bascule:I have a headache from studying the machine, but I believe that the truth may take this form:
IF AND ONLY IF today has a date that goes by two different prime numbers, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
Go on then, ridicule me! See if I care.
All right, then:
Bascule's headache must have been caused by brain damage if he believes such a ridiculous (and nonsensical) statement even had the slightest chance of being the Truth.
IF AND ONLY IF today has a date made only of two different prime factors, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.At Tue, 14 Jan 1997 10:11:07 -0600 (CST), /dev/joe ridiculed breadbox:
breadbox, my evil twin, you have once again failed to come even close to the truth of the Machine that goes *ping*. When will you ever learn?
IF AND ONLY IF today has a date made only of two different prime numbers, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.At Wed, 15 Jan 1997 00:51:53 -0600 (CST), /dev/joe ridiculed snowgod:
snowgod, who has never before been ridiculed (in the sense of the Machine game; otherwise he's had his difficulties, including a disease that so plagues him that it was named after him), has made a guess which very closely resembles that which breadbox guessed not long ago, and this is so far from the Truth that in the land where that phrase is spoken of as gospel, the residents don't even understand the meaning of the word "truth".
IF AND ONLY IF today has a date made only by two different prime numbers, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.At Fri, 17 Jan 1997 16:05:45 -0600 (CST), /dev/joe ridiculed Red Barn:I've decided that I need to add having been ridiculed to my repertoire.
I've been waiting for a chance like this! :-)
Red Barn, nobody else in the history of Ackanomic has caused so much bandwidth to be wasted in a single day as you have in your first 24 hours in the game. And this waste of bandwidth, like several other recent attempts to guess the Truth, does not even come close to the Truth.
At Sat, 18 Jan 1997 00:38:00 -0600 (CST), /dev/joe filled in some r's:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** * **** **** **r* ** *** *****r*** *r*** *****r*, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
"IF AND ONLY IF today has a date only born of two different prime numbers THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*."At Mon, 20 Jan 1997 22:05:45 -0600 (CST), /dev/joe ridiculed Swann:
Like so many of his fellow Ackanomians, Swann has made a futile, incorrect guess at the Truth.
At Tue, 28 Jan 1997 01:11:03 -0600 (CST), /dev/joe responded:
AAARRRGH!
While I was preparing this message, I realized that when I last posted the truth, I forgot an R!!!!!
In the spirit of fairness, I'm drawing attention to this so everybody can see what happened. I honestly hope somebody didn't figure out but not guess the real truth earlier due to my mistake.Anyway...
Red Barn named t as the magic letter.
Red Barn -15 magic letter tYes, I recall there being several t's (and one additional r) in the truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** * **t* **t* **r* *r t** *****r**t *r*** ***t*r*, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
/dev/joe
Lousy Scholar
Playing too many subgames at once
IF AND ONLY IF today has a date with more or two different prime factors, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
Obviously my wrong post didn't bother Malenkai too much. This guess is much, much farther from the truth than my post of the truth with the r's filled in was from what I should have posted.
IF AND ONLY IF today was a date with zero pf two different prime factors THEN the Machine That Goes "ping" shall go "ping"
It looks like everybody is having a bad day. This is still wrong! Sorry if this ridicule is lame; this is the 7th one I had to do this term as Scholar, and I'm out of original, interesting ridicules.The web page now has a list of the players who have already guessed wrong, to help me make sure I don't respond to an illegal guess by a player who has already guessed this truth wrong.
Jammer posted something else shortly after this, but the Machine rule prohibits anyone from guessing between Jammer's post quoted above and this post in response to it, and they prohibit Jammer from guessing at this truth again now that he's been ridiculed. It was not a legal guess according to the rules, so I will not be commenting on it.
IF AND ONLY IF today has a date with zero or two different prime factors, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.ThinMan's guess was determined to be first.
This is correct. (Oh, yeah, praise...) Only a really alert player would see to correct the "was" to "has" from Jammer's second guess. Congratulations, ... (who?)Hmm, it seems we have another Hubert.
Here are the relevant headers:Received: (from majordom@localhost) by wilma.che.utexas.edu (8.7.4/8.7.3) id IAA17232 for ackanomic-outgoing; Tue, 28 Jan 1997 08:08:21 -0600 Date: Tue, 28 Jan 1997 08:07:23 -0600 (CST) From: Guy Fawkes <shimmin@coewl.cen.uiuc.edu> Subject: Re: Acka Arggggggh correction Received: (from majordom@localhost) by wilma.che.utexas.edu (8.7.4/8.7.3) id IAA17214 for ackanomic-outgoing; Tue, 28 Jan 1997 08:06:15 -0600 From: "Bollinger, John C." <jobollin@indiana.edu> Date: Tue, 28 Jan 1997 09:07:37 -0500From this, it can clearly be seen that ThinMan's computer's clock is fast by about two minutes, so his was actually the first post received and he is the next Scholar of *ping*.Congratulations ThinMan, and I hereby present you with the Pedestal of *ping* for the Machine to rest on as you study it. I am also giving Swann A$5; he was the only player to make an incorrect guess after I posted the truth with R's incorrectly filled in and before my ARRRGHH post.
IF AND ONLY IF today *** *** ** *** **** ******** *** ***** ****** ** *** ********, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.ThinMan lost the machine by going on vacation.
IF AND ONLY IF today ****** ** *** **** **** ******* **** *** **** ********, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Sun, 09 Feb 1997 11:11:16 -0800, Strider posted the truth:
As I entered my house the other day, I saw before me two ghostly images. It was the Machines the go Ping! Both of them had somehow found their ways to my tower. As I stood entranced, they overlapped, and finally merged. I felt awed to be the only witness to the reunification of the game threads. When the merger was complete, there was a blinding flash of light, and the machine floated before me in all of its harf. it said "IFF today ** * ****** ********* ** ****** **** ** *** ** ***** ****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.Strider lost the machine because it did not go *ping* on any day from Feb 10-16. It *pinged* on the 17th but Strider did not report it until the 18th.I know what it meant. Come, students, gaze upon the machine and learn. My house is open to any who wish to study.
At Wed, 19 Feb 1997 10:10:42 -0800, Strider posted the undisguised truth:
IFF today is a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday with an odd or prime date, then the Machine that goes *ping* shall go *ping* today.
At Wed, 26 Feb 1997 08:53:17 -0500, Calvin N Hobbes became scholar.
At Sun, 2 Mar 1997 03:29:11 -0600 (CST), Calvin N Hobbes posted the truth:
Mesmerized by this object, I paused. It could have been warm to the touch but in that instant my senses were surely deceiving me. A click, a whir and a pong brought me back to reality and I reached for some paper on which to write the new Truth. I could only wish the Y-Pair was here, who are so interested in the Truth. No longer was it out there, but in here with me."IF AND ONLY IF today *** * **** ********** ******* **** ***** *** *** **** ***** ******, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*."
Calvin N Hobbes then tried to report that the machine went ping on March 2, the day he posted the truth, which is something the Machine does not do. Thus, he lost the Machine.
At Thu, 6 Mar 1997 05:12:48 -0800 (PST), breadbox posted the Truth:
I fell asleep on my couch today, and had an extremely odd and lengthy dream. The descriptions from the scholars before me had not prepared me for this. I saw, but did not understand, vast machineries and intricate webs of logistically interdependent yet counterbalancing concepts, which in my dream appeared in the forms of linked bagels. Cream cheese and lox dripped through everything, carrying away redundancies and suboptimal linkages through a drain in the floor. Above it all, and at the same time enclosing it, was the Machine That Goes *ping*. I felt that if this was the manifestation of the Machine's truth, I could never hope to comprehend its meaning. I despaired of fulfilling my scholarly duties. But then on the fourth day I was visited by an Incan monkey god who told me what to write:"IF AND ONLY IF today *** ******** ** ******* ** *** ****'* ***** ******* ** * ******, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*."
Now I just have to find somebody who can translate his simple but beautiful language.
The Machine went *ping* on:
March 8, 1997.
March 10, 1997.
March 13, 1997.
March 17, 1997.
March 22, 1997.
March 24, 1997.
March 26, 1997.
At Mon, 24 Mar 1997 10:02:15 -0500 (EST), Vynd picked r as the Magic Letter.
At Mon, 24 Mar 1997 08:18:33 -0800 (PST), breadbox filled in the Magic Letter.
IF AND ONLY IF Today *** ******** ** *****r* ** *** ****'* r**** ****r** ** * ****r*, THEN The Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At March 26, 17:13 EST, breadbox went to Gaol for being in Contempt (for not getting the Silver Moon stuff done on time) and the Machine teleported.
At March 28, 02:36 EST, breadbox posted the undisguised truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today the quantity of letters in the date's roman numeral is a square, THEN The Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Fri, 28 Mar 1997 08:45:53 -0500 ThinMan posted the truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** *** ** *** **** ******** *** ***** ****** ** *** ********, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went *ping* on:
April 1, 1997.
April 2, 1997.
April 8, 1997.
April 9, 1997.
At Thu, 3 Apr 1997 20:23:45 -0600 (CST), /dev/joe guessed the truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today the chartreuse goose is red, and the brass monkey has three legs, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Fri, 4 Apr 1997 08:49:26 -0500, ThinMan ridiculed /dev/joe:
This is the most pathetic, inane, and worthless guess at the Machine's truth that I have seen during my time as Scholar. O inestimably poor student of *ping*, can you explain why your guess fails to even match the pattern? I suggest you invest in a box of hammers.
On Apr 16, ThinMan reported that he failed to send a *ping* message for Apr 15, and also that the machine would have *ping*ed on Apr 16. Per the rules, the machine teleports to a random player's house.
At Thu, 17 Apr 1997 11:03:07 -0500, ThinMan revealed the real truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today the day of the week contains the fifth letter of the alphabet, THEN The Machine That Goes *ping* will go *ping*.
fnord posted the Truth at Wed, 30 Apr 1997 09:29:55 -0700:
IF AND ONLY IF today ** * *** ****** ** ***** * **** ***** ** **********, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went *ping* on:
May 2, 1997.
May 4, 1997.
May 5, 1997.
May 7, 1997.
At Wed, 7 May 1997 11:19:56 -0600 (MDT), Alfvaen guessed:
IF AND ONLY IF today is a day before or after a date which is triangular, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Sat, 10 May 1997 09:59:49 -0700, fnord praised Alfvaen:
Oh, Alfvaen, it does seem that you are much more learned than your short time here in Ackanomic would indicate, however, woe betide unto thee, for alas and alack you have guessed wrong...However, fnord failed to post a *ping* on May 9, so the machine teleported randomly.
(faint machine-like sounds)
wait a sec... (muted machine-like sounds and conversation)oh *blush* whoops.
Congratulations, Alfvaen, you have pierced the veil and discovered the Machine's Truth.
At May 12, 09:40 EDT, Alfvaen received his boon, a Bonus Vote.
At Tue, 27 May 1997 09:33:10 -0500, /dev/joe became scholar.
At Sat, 31 May 1997 01:23:35 -0500 (CDT), /dev/joe posted the truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** **** ** ****** *** ** *** ****** ** ****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went ping on:
June 1, 1997.
June 2, 1997.
June 4, 1997.
June 7, 1997.
June 8, 1997.
June 11, 1997.
At Wed, 11 Jun 1997 06:21:48 -0600 (MDT), Alfvaen chose n as the magic letter.
At Wed, 11 Jun 1997 09:23:51 -0500 (CDT), /dev/joe filled in some n's:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** **** *n **n*** *** *n *** n***** ** *n**, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Wed, 11 Jun 1997 07:30:49 -0700 (PDT), breadbox guessed the truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today the date in binary has an odd number of ones, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Wed, 11 Jun 1997 09:45:39 -0500 (CDT), /dev/joe praised breadbox:
Oh, my. As I filled in the magic letter, I wondered if it would be enough information for anyone to figure out the truth. breadbox, perhaps my biggest treasure-hunting competitor, has deciphered the truth within minutes of the first Magic Letter being filled in. Congratulations, breadbox, and may your study of the machine run as smoothly and error-free as the one just concluded has been. Sorry about the machine arriving without its pedestal. ThinMan, please pass the pedestal along to breadbox, as I won't be needing it back.At Jun 11, 21:42, Malenkai determined that breadbox's boon was an Otzma Card Untouch Me.
At Sat, 14 Jun 1997 16:12:44 -0700 (PDT), breadbox posted the truth:
After reattaching Guy Fawkes' house, and catching up on the backlog in the Courts (or trying to), I was rather tired. I fell asleep at my desk, during which I had these visions. I saw -- aw, you know what I saw. Anyway, when I finally woke up, I found that in my sleep I had attempted to write down one of my visions. Unfortunately, being asleep when I had done this, I had written on the piece of paper that already contained various notes on some of the CFJs, so I was unable to fully make out what it said. What I could read went like this:IF AND ONLY IF today *** ******* **** **** ****** *** ****** ******-***** ***** ***, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went ping on:
June 15, 1997.
June 16, 1997.
June 17, 1997.
June 18, 1997.
June 20, 1997.
June 21, 1997.
June 22, 1997.
At Sun, 22 Jun 1997 17:21:34 -0700 (PDT), breadbox filled in the Magic Letter:
IF AND ONLY IF *h* ***h*** *h** **** ****** *** ****** ******-***h* ***** ***, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Sun, 22 Jun 1997 21:58:58 -0600 (MDT), Alfvaen guessed the truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today the machine that goes *ping* was silent twenty-eight weeks ago, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Mon, 23 Jun 1997 05:58:55 -0700 (PDT), breadbox praised Alfvaen:
Alfvaen, you have pierced the asterisked veil and seen the unshrouded Truth. Congratulations, student and now scholar. May you encounter similar fortune in your time harboring the enigmatic Machine That Goes *ping*.
At Mon, 23 Jun 1997 10:28:50 -0700, Malenkai picked Alfvaen's boon, a Scientist for a Day otzma card.
At Mon, 23 Jun 1997 10:57:22 -0600 (MDT), Alfvaen posted the truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** * **** ***** **** ****** ***** ***** * ** *** ********, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went ping on:
June 24, 1997.
June 26, 1997.
June 27, 1997.
June 28, 1997.
June 30, 1997.
July 2, 1997.
July 4, 1997.
July 6, 1997.
July 7, 1997.
July 8, 1997.
At Wed, 02 Jul 1997 17:52:32 -0400, Malenkai picked p as the Magic Letter.
At Wed, 2 Jul 1997 22:03:27 -0600 (MDT), Alfvaen filled in the Magic Letter p:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** * **** ***** **** ****** ***** ***** * ** *** **p*****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
Alfvaen lost the machine on July 9, 1997 by going on vacation.
On Mon, 14 Jul 1997 23:23:24 -0600 (MDT), Alfvaen revealed the truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today has a date whose last letter comes after j in the alphabet, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Thu, 17 Jul 1997 01:38:01 -0400, CarsesraC became scholar, but he failed to post a truth.
At Thu, 24 Jul 1997 20:05:46 -0400, Rex Mundi became scholar.
At Sat, 26 Jul 1997 22:56:42 +0100, Rex Mundi posted the truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** * **** ***** ****** **** *** ******* * ** *, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
Last Magic Letter picked by: Malenkai.