This is the archive of articles published by mr cwm's (and occasionally snowgod) in the newspaper "is".
Date: Fri, 1 Nov 1996 02:51:41 -0900
In This Issue
1) Welcome to is
2) Special: Poll
**********************************************************************
We, the publishing house of snowgod, snowgod, and snowgod, would like to welcome you to this, the premier issue of is. is will attempt to answer the tough questions in ackanomic, as while as promote the true shape of the earth, which is flat. is will bring you outdated information in a timely manner. is, and only is, will bring you fun tid-bits from the extra-nomic community. finally is will occasionally offer fun contests and prizes for it's loyal subscribers.
What is isn't: greedy. We at is do hereby grant every other newspaper the right to publish the name of our newspaper in their pages - even in specific reference to this newspaper. additionally, is is not afraid to speak up when controversy comes to ackanomic. Ahould the publishers actually get out of bed early enough to publish a timely issue, we will gladly cover ANY news story.
Finally, a little tid-bit for those of you who may, for whatever reason, wish to publish views that you would not like attributed to you: is has no qualms about publishing anonymous commentary and news. send your article to me with your desire to remain incognito! I promise to never reveal my sources!
We hope you enjoy is, and find it to be a nice change of pace from the other rags available to you. Pplease feel free to send questions, commentws, suggestion, flames, submissions, or trout to snowgod snowgod and snowgod publishing. We promise to ignore them in a timely manner.
**********************************************************************
It is our sincerest desire that each issue of is contain the results of an exclusive poll. Of course, we are failing right off the bat, since there is no previous poll to publish the results of in this issue... However, you gotta start somewhere.
Our First Poll:
What is the origin of your ackanomic name?
Please send your responses to snowgod@alaska.net. All responses will be published in the next issue of is. Also, we are accepting solicitations for future poll topics.
**********************************************************************
Until the next time....
we is
Date: Sat, 28 Dec 1996 03:38:28 -0900
is is a product of cwm publishing
Our exclusive sources have revealed to us that mr cwm, founder of is, has granted snowgod rights to publish his newspaper. "Yeah, yeah, is okay with the head honcho." said mr cwm's secretary when we called to confirm the story.
snowgod had previously purchased is for the amazing price of A$12, but a later CFJ determined that the paper was immediatly transfered back to mr cwm after the purchase. snowgod was then gaoled for publishing the intitial issue of is without permission from mr cwm.
Rumors flew during snowgod's persecution that mr cwm had indeed granted permission to publish, but they were never substantiated and would not have helped snowgod with his defense anyhow as no permission had been granted at the time of publication.
Both parties hope that this new arrangement can be mutually benificial.
Date: Tue, 28 Jan 1997 11:06:40 -0500 (EST)
In a transparent attempt to avoid going belly-up, is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is reports that is has published a ludicrous self-referential issue today.
Date: Tue, 11 Feb 1997 19:21:45 -0500 (EST)
Subject: Acka: is classified
Help Wanted
Professional Party Chess Player wanted to play for Ackanomia's Oldest Political Party. Experience a plus, but not necessary. Short-term contract, may be extended. Salary negotiable. Contact mr cwm at murrayer@pirates.armstrong.edu.
Date: Fri, 28 Feb 1997 18:39:23 -0900
is, Ackanomic's most continuously content free newspaper still is and will continue to be for quite some time. This is the February issue of is, and if this wasn't is might end up being was.
snowgod
is correspondant
Date: Sat, 1 Mar 1997 14:40:11 -0500 (EST)
Late last night while slumped over the Linotype (*can* one slump over a Linotype?), despondant over the waste resulting from publishing twice in the same month, this publisher (who is definitely *not* a reporter) saw a single sheet of paper emerge from the crack under the door, and heard footsteps fade away down the hall. While setting the information scrawled upon it in type for your reading pleasure, the whole bizarre emerging/fading routine was repeated. After waiting a bit to make sure there was to be no third occurrance, the completely unsubstantiated rumours passed on to this publisher were printed up, as follows, for your eddification and amusement, and to keep us from going belly up (or is it bust?) at the end of March:
Sources that claim to be reliable, but which are, in fact, completely unknown, tell me that the Narfalone Crime Family (DBA Organized Crime) is planning to run some sort of protection racket. It seems that they might ask for 5% of all transactions between individual players (treasury transaction not included). Rumor has it that there might be serious consequences for those who don't "voluntarily" agree to contribute. A temporary amnesty could be put in place while the Narfalones consolidate their power, so there might not be an immediate danger to those who fail to contribute. However, the most severe consequences could be planned for those who persist in such failure. The proceeds might be divided unevenly between the Godfather and the rest of the Narfalones.
--------
Do the alternating "might"s & "could"s satisfy the legal department? - Ed.
Date: Tue, 1 Apr 1997 10:38:25 -0500 (EST)
Editorial #1
It has come to the attention of the Editor that there is some question as to whether or not is published a March issue. is would like to state that is absolutely and unquestionably published a March issue. is is not bust, and it's belly is fixed firmly beneath it. And now it'll stay that way all through April :)
Editorial #2
is, being the only Ackanomian Newspaper founded, to its knowledge, with absolutely no intention of ever publishing, would, somewhat ironically, like to come out in favor of Newspaper Tyrrany. Or, at least, against being against Newspaper Tyrrany. One piece of "bandwidth wasting gizz," as it has been rather accurately described, per Newspaper per month is but a tiny drop in the vast ocean of BWG that laps the shores (do we have shores?) of Ackanomia. Additionally, the Newspaper rules do not prevent anyone without a Newspaper from making informational posts, so the requirement of checking in once per calender month for the priviledge of describing ones informational posts as a Newspaper is burden both voluntary and light.
If not for Newspaper Tyrrany, is would have been sold long ago, or reduced to an inert entry on the Players and Entities page, similar to that Chalice thing buried somewhere in the publisher's desk - pretty perhaps, but largely forgotten.
Perserve Newspaper Tyrrany! Keep the flow of Bandwith Wasting Gizz trickling!
Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 13:03:11 -0400 (EDT)
In a move believed unprecedented in the annals of Ackanomian journalism, and with one eye fixed firmly on the calender, is today publishes this statement, which is untrue.